What Did You Say?

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What’s that saying? Kids say “damnit” for the first time to your mother-in-law when you didn’t even realize it was something they were saying. No? Oh wait, guess that’s just my kid. Kids say the darndest things? Or, out of the mouths of babes? I think that’s it.

I’ve been jotting down things Monkey says since she started forming sentences. Because, well, I think it’s hysterical. And actually, she told me a story the other day and then said “That’s hysterical.” Which naturally, I thought was, you guessed it — hysterical. I’m easily amused.

When Monkey was approaching two she would see a lot of things and say, “I need to have it.”

For example, Husband was holding her while digging through the fridge. Pointing, she said, “What’s this?” Husband said, “A beer.” Monkey said, “I need a beer.” Oh. My. God. She’ll still whip out that phrase once in a while because she knows it elicits big laughs.

Prior to two years old, Monkey’s sentences were halting. There was a lot of:

  • “I need a wipe.”
  • “I need a taco.”
  • “Open the door.”
  • “I need lotion.”

Then she started to add in a few more words to her sentences, like:

  • “Set the baby down.”
  • “Naughty bird. Get off the window!”

And just like that, one day there were MORE WORDS.

“This one’s too hard. I don’t like it.” (regarding how crunchy a French fry was)

Husband and I just looked at each other, like “Wha …?? Did she just say that!??

And then there was the hilarious, “I love my brother.” Husband: “You don’t have a brother.” Monkey: “I DON’T???”

Now that she’s almost two and a half, Monkey is really stringing the words together. Last week when I was changing my clothes she said, “Mama, put your shirt on so you’re not so naked.” Sure thing, Monkey. I’ll get right on that.

Here are my favorite Monkey quotes around a few themes.

Favorite defiant statements:

  • “Whatever, Mama.”
  • Me: “Do you need to go to your room to calm down?” Monkey: “No way!”
  • “Fine.”
  • Me: “I don’t think so.” Monkey: “I fink so.” (shaking head emphatically)
  • Me: “We need to brush your teeth.” Monkey: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Favorite delay of bedtime-related statements:

  • “Mama! I need heeeelp. I need a hug again. I’m awake! I’m awaaaake. I’M AWAKE.”
  • “Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mom-my. Mom-my. MOMMY! Mom! Mother! Mother!
  • “I need help. I need a hug again. I need a kiss again. POTTY, POTTY, POTTY, POTTY!”
  • “Daddy said go night night. Night night!” (to herself)
  • Monkey: “I’m tired.” Husband: “So does that mean you’re going to go to bed without a problem tonight?” Monkey: “No. I’m a problem.”

Favorite potty-related statements:

  • “I went potty, Mama. I get an M&M again. I do. Yep. Yeppers.”
  • “Leave. Go away. Close the door. Go feed the baby.” (when she wants her privacy to go number two)
  • “Mama, don’t forget to hold me on.” (when we use a public toilet without her potty seat insert)

Favorite driving-related statements:

  • “Mama, don’t do that again.” (because I swerved to miss an animal)
  • “Mama, I don’t like that (when I beeped my horn at someone)
  • “Where are your legs? I want to see them.”
  • “I want to sit with you.” (while I’m driving)
  • “Daddy, be careful.” (when he passed someone)
  • “I want to go faster.”

Favorite random statements:

  • “I love boys.”
  • “Jen! Jeeeenn. I call Mama Jen all the time. Funny, funny.” (sighs and shakes head knowingly)
  • “I can’t shake my bon bon right now. It’s too hard in the car seat.”
  • “Mama, I’m going to put on your shoes and walk around and be silly. I’m funny.”
  • I want to go to Qdoba to eat.

Favorite curse word instances: (thankfully, these are few and far between)

  • “DAMNIT! DAMNIT! (followed by frustrated shrieking — she was supposed to be sleeping, but instead was trying to re-dress her doll, unsuccessfully)
  • “F&ckin’ leg.” (her baby’s leg was stuck)

My oldest daughter and her evolving use of language brings me joy.

This post is part of SOYJOY‘s What brings you joy contest. Learn more here.

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20 responses »

  1. Some of my favorites from Shelby:
    This isn’t working for me (when I was trying to get her to nap).
    Mom, give me some privacy (when she was pooping, in her diaper, in the bathroom)
    That doesn’t sound like a good plan (says this ALL the time)
    I want to be a good girl…I don’t want to be naughty!
    Don’t worry, dad, I’m just going to be gone (when leaving for a sleepover at her Grandma’s house).

    She says at least one thing that cracks me up every day!

    • bahahahahahaha – I LOVE “This isn’t working for me.” hahahahahahaha

      Or, “That doesn’t sound like a good plan.”

      Oh my gosh. It’s so funny hearing them saying the things we say.

  2. These are soooo funny!!!! I found you via bloggy moms. I am excited to hear my son talk. These days its “No no” and “ah oh” and he will find a way to say “ah oh” to get a reaction. Like throwing his peas off his high chair or tossing a toy down the stairs…just so he can say ah oh. Its hilarious!

    Stop by my blog sometime. This was a funny read!

    Mommy Only Has Two Hands!

    • Aaah, I remember the throwing days well. My oldest did that ALL the time. She still does it occasionally when she’s mad and wants to get a reaction from us. I’m curious to see if my six-month-old will follow in her older sister’s footsteps.

      BTW, I loved your cloth diapering video! It’s making me think about whether I might want to cloth diaper!

    • life with kaishon, I LOVE your photos! You have an amazing talent! And I love that you said “EASY peasy mac and cheesy” in your “about” section. I need to start using that more. 😉 Thanks for stopping by.

  3. I can’t believe you wrote all of that down – your daughter is SO lucky. I wish I’d done that for my girls. And also? I LOVE her response to the fact that she doesn’t have a brother.

    (PS: My email is whacked out right now and I couldn’t reply to let you know that I got your email right before the mail came today and I sent out some !!! tags. Thanks so much for playing along and I’m sorry I didn’t include a note because I wanted to make sure I got them addressed and ready before the mail carrier arrived.)

  4. Pingback: MOM System « On the Night You Were Born

  5. Pingback: O Brother, Where Art Thou? « On the Night You Were Born

  6. Pingback: Overheard « On the Night You Were Born

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