Why I’m Not Hoping for a Boy

We have two girls. Two wonderful, lovely, beautiful girls. So must people assume that we’re hoping this baby is a boy. Nah. It’s so cliché, but we’re just hoping for a healthy baby.

There would be pros and cons to having a boy or a girl.

I would love to have a boy because it would be a whole new experience. It would be something totally different. And it’s nice to think of Husband having that dad-boy relationship that I have with my girls. He’s a terrific dad to the girls, and at the same time it would be nice for him to have a boy to balance out the estrogen.

I would love to have a girl because as excited as I would be about the whole new “boy experience,” it simultaneously scares the sh*t out of me. At least with girls I kind of have a clue about what I’m doing. I remember one night at my grandma’s house when my cousin (who’s like my sister) was sitting on the floor with me and we were both changing diapers. My cousin has two boys. I was changing Bean and she was changing her son K. We both looked at each other’s baby’s (opposite) parts and she said, “I have no idea what to do with that.” And I said, “I have no idea what to do with THAT!” At least I’m familiar with my daughters’ parts!

If we have a boy I think it will be easier for me not to compare my kids to each other. Especially when it comes to comparing the baby to the first two. It’s already hard enough for me not to compare Monkey and Bean.

If we have another girl, I’m afraid that the baby will break up the super close bond that the older two girls have. On the other hand, I have two best friends. I know it’s unlikely to have two best friends, and you’re probably thinking that surely I’m closer to one than the other. But I’m not. I truly do have two best friends. And in many instances, having one of us stay neutral while the other two get worked up, has helped resolve conflict faster. So I think it could be awesome for them to each have two sisters.

Regardless of whether it’s a boy or girl, those girls are going to looooooooooove on that baby like you just won’t believe. They were baby obsessed before, but I think they’re going to take it to a new level. They just LOVE babies (real and pretend).

With all of that said, it’s still fun to guess, right!? After all this time, Monkey is still hankering for a brother, while Bean wants a sister. We told them that one of them will get what they want. 😉

For what it’s worth, my intuition told me “boy” from the moment I got a positive pregnancy test. I refer to the baby as “he.” However, lately I have been doubting my intuition because this pregnancy has been pretty much the same as the other two.

Here’s what the old wives tales have said:

• The Chinese pregnancy calendar says GIRL, and it was correct for both Monkey and Bean
• The baking soda test says GIRL (pee in a cup and if it sizzles it’s a boy; if it does nothing it’s a girl)
• The baby’s heartbeat has been over the place. At my six-week ultrasound it was 137. I had another ultrasound at 9 weeks and it was 178. At my last two check-ups it’s been in the 150s. Typically when we listen with the Doppler at home it’s in the 130-140 range. With the girls, the heartbeat was usually in the 150s-160s. The last time I input the heartbeat in the above gender prediction tool it said BOY, but it has said GIRL before, too. So it’s a toss-up.

Husband thinks it’s a girl. We’ll find out tomorrow if my mother’s intuition is right! (it was right for both girls)

What do you think!??

(And if you’re so inclined, please say some prayers for a healthy baby)

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

A couple of nights ago, while I was lotioning Monkey up after bath, we started chatting about Caillou, a character from a PBS kids television program that she loves, and watches at her Nana’s house. I’ve honestly never seen an episode, so I’m a little fascinated when Monkey can tell me all about the different characters. It amazes me (and scares me a little at the same time) how much she retains from the show.

Caillou with his cat Gilbert.

 

So we were talking about Caillou and how he has a sister named Rosie, and then she started telling me about Caillou’s friends and his friends’ siblings. She mentioned that one of Caillou’s friends has a brother and a sister.

That’s when things got interesting.

“But Caillou only has a sister, Rosie. Like me. I only have a sister, right mama?”

“That’s right, Monkey. You only have a sister,” I said.

“Some guys have a brother and a sister, but some guys only have a brother OR a sister, right mama? Like me. I only have a sister. I don’t have a brother.”

Monkey often talks out loud about things that she knows are correct, but still wants confirmation on. I find this to be kind adorable. So I double confirmed her sibling status.

“Yep, that’s right. Only a sister. No brother for you.”

Then she paused, and pondered deeply.

“We’re gonna have to buy one.”

I stopped lotioning and laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Meanwhile she looked at me with a surprised half grin, wondering what she did that I thought was so funny. She was so earnest about it.

I told her that I didn’t think her father would approve of us buying a brother. Then I had to start explaining how God and mommies and daddies make babies. This wasn’t a conversation I thought I would be having so soon.

Monkey’s fascination with having a brother is not new. Last summer she was shocked to find out she didn’t have one.

In fact, I think her interest in having a brother has only ramped up since then. Especially because she sees Bean accomplishing new things and we’ve been talking to her about how Bean’s getting older and isn’t really a “baby” anymore. Whenever the subject comes up, she tells us that we need to get another baby.

Again, not a conversation I was expecting to have with an almost three-year-old.

Then tonight, on the way home from the grocery store, she suddenly and frantically shrieked, “MAMA! WHERE’S MY BROTHER??”

OMG. Again, Husband and I were dying of laughter. As if we forgot him at the store.

Is my brother in there??

It really is kind of sweet though. She is very attached to her sister and very aware of “her family” and wanting all of us to be together. At the dinner table she’ll say, “We’re all here. Mama, Daddy, Bean and me!” Or, last week before church when I was trying to pump her up about going to the children’s church she replied sadly, “But mama, those teachers are not my family. I want to be with my family.”

So I have no doubt that she would love another sibling — very specifically, a brother. When we ask her if she wants another sister or another brother, she always says brother.

And to be perfectly honest, if Husband and I have a third child, we would love for it to be a boy too — mostly because we’re not sure if we would survive the nuclear explosion that most certainly would occur at our house with three teenage girls.

We’ll see. Husband and I won’t be commencing those conversations for awhile yet. Plus, I’m going to want to hear from ALL of my friends who are parents of three to see what it’s really like. Any advance information is greatly appreciated. I’m sure I’ll be hunting all of you down individually when the talk is more serious. 😉

Did your kids ever ask you for another sibling?

Random Holiday !!!

I know, it’s been a long time since I blogged. In part because we’ve been gorging on turkey, stuffing, pies, cookies and chocolate! I totally missed the boat on a Thanksgiving !!! post, which would have been so appropriate given the nature of !!! (!!! = intentional happiness), which is to celebrate things that made me happy and to be thankful for. One of the things I was most thankful for at Thanksgiving was to celebrate with my brother, his fiancée and his fiancée’s  sister. The last time my brother was home for Thanksgiving was … 2006 maybe??

And while we’re welcoming my brother’s fiancée into our family, it’s nice that her sister is becoming my (pseudo) sister-in-law too. Even though she’s not really my sister-in-law, my kids feel like she’s another aunt, and let’s face it — you can never have too much family around.

So Thanksgiving was wonderful. Especially the part when after a delicious dinner my mom asked Monkey, “So, Monkey, did you enjoy your dinner,” to which she immediately retorted with a resounding “NO.” She was going for comedic effect of course, and we all delivered by busting out laughing.

And now we’re in the full swing of Christmas — shopping, baking, Christmas cards and wrapping. I still have SO MUCH to do and in just FOUR days we’ll be celebrating our first family Christmas gathering. Aaah!

In honor of the season, here’s some random Christmas !!!

The Grinch

MONKEY IS OBSESSED WITH THE GRINCH.

It all started at the beginning of November when I introduced her to The Grinch Who Stole Christmas book. She liked it, but she didn’t love it.

Then I was at the library and checked out an audio CD of classic Dr. Seuss books — and one the tracks was, you guessed it, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. As soon as she realized she was listening to the same story that I had been reading to her, she was hooked.

The recording is approximately 12 minutes long. Therefore all of our car rides hence are measured in number of Grinch listenings:

• Church or my parents’ house — approximately two listenings
• Nana’s house — approximately half a listening
• Grocery store — approximately 3/4ths a listening
• Library — one listening
• Target — approximately 1.5 listenings

And now there is the Grinch trifecta — the original 1966 animated cartoon. You wouldn’t believe Monkey’s face when I told her she could ALSO watch the Grinch on DVD.

So every morning we listen to the Grinch on the way to Nana’s house, she asks to watch it on DVD when she gets home in the afternoon, AND, we read the book before bed.

I’m pretty sure I could recite most of the story by heart.

And there’s this one line where the Grinch is talking about the Whos’ singing and he says, “For 53 years I’ve put up with it now.” Except Monkey thinks he’s saying, “For 53 years I’ve put up with a cow.” And she gets this big grin on her face and starts laughing. Every. Single. Time. Now it’s to the point where she looks at me to see if I’m looking at her to check her reaction.

But honestly I don’t mind. The original TV special was probably my favorite holiday programming event when I was a kid. In fact, when I was in college I bought it on VHS tape, and then a few years ago (still before we had kids!) I upgraded to the DVD version. So I think it’s pretty cute actually that we share a love for the story and cartoon. And bonus — she’s not scared of him! Oh, and double bonus! It’s got a great message about what’s really important at Christmas.

Splitting Hairs

Some days and nights in our house are particularly chaotic. More chaotic than others. Especially now because Bean is a walking menace.

Monkey calls her “Willer.” I have no idea why, except maybe because Monkey intuitively knows that Bean lives by the motto of “Where there’s a will, there’s a way” because that kid DOES NOT — GIVE. UP. Bean in a bathroom is just out of control. If she’s not pulling the toilet paper off the roll, she’s flushing the toilet, or grabbing the Kleenex box, or going through the garbage. Hmm, this scenario is familiar to me for some reason (except it’s happening about five months earlier than I expected).

If I kick her out of the bathroom, she knocks over the small Christmas tree in my room, or pulls the ornaments off the tree in Monkey’s room, or unloads her clothes hamper. Needless to say, she doesn’t have a tree in her room.

And when you tell her “No,” she just gives you this great big grin.

Menace.

I call her “Crusher,” but I may change it to “Bruiser.”

I’m sure you know what I mean.

So on one those particularly trying days, Husband said “I’m going to be gray by the time I’m 36.”

He’s 35.

That is all.

Starbucks Peppermint Mocha

I’ve been saying for years that I don’t like coffee. And theeeeeen … here and there I would give in to the peer pressure of my coffee-drinking friends and to the marketing machine of Starbucks. Eventually I started to like iced mochas. But only mochas. Which, let’s be clear, have lots of chocolate syrup and milk added. And only iced. Every once in a while in the last five years I would try a hot mocha (too strong!) or a something with a flavor, like hot salted caramel (too sweet!).

And then this year I decided to try the peppermint mocha again. It was by accident really. Starbucks was running a promotion for four days where you could buy one drink and get one free to share with a friend. But I work by myself, and none of my friends are close by. I didn’t have anyone to share with.

So I hatched a grand master plan. I would order an iced mocha for myself and then take a hot one home for free. The hot one, I rationalized, I could refrigerate and then reheat the next morning, whereas a second iced one would just melt and be watered down. I didn’t really like hot mochas, but it was free after all.

What I didn’t realize, until I started to place my order, was that I could only choose among three drinks for the buy one share one deal. Three holiday drinks, to be specific, and one of them was the peppermint mocha. Sooo, being the opportunist that I am and not wanting to miss out on a great deal, I amended my order to one iced peppermint mocha and one hot peppermint mocha. What the hell, right? Well, the iced peppermint mocha was pretty sweet. But good.

The next morning my reheated peppermint mocha was goooooood.

And right there, a peppermint mocha obsession was born. A Starbucks marketing coordinator appeared to me and I saw a great light and was terrified. But the marketing coordinator said to me, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people. You have joined the coffee-drinking masses and your friends will be so happy. This will be a sign to you. Turn over all of your discretionary income and find pleasure in peppermint mochas.”

(Which by the way cost $0.70 more than a regular mocha to accommodate for the shot of peppermint. Who came out on top of this little marketing scheme?? Not me! What would Alanis say?)

I think I’m going to have to reverse my position on coffee to: I like it — a little.

Separation Anxiety + Teething + Cold = Sleeping with me

My little Bruiser Menace girl. She’s going through another round of separation anxiety. AKA, “OH MY GOD, WHERE ARE YOU, WHERE ARE YOU, PICK ME UP, PICK ME UP, PICK ME UP, DO NOT LEAVE MY SIGHT, OH MY GOD, PUH-LEASE, I AM DY-ING HERE, CAN’T YOU SEE????”

On top of it she has a cold and is doing some teething just to mix it up. She’s been waking up 4-6 times a night looking for some extra comfort. And honestly, sometimes at 4 a.m., after you’ve already rocked with her three times, tiptoed out of the room only to have her wake up again 10 minutes later? It’s just easier to bring her into bed with you.

And shhh, don’t tell anyone, but I actually don’t mind. I kind of love it.

She’s so sweet isn’t she? I just can’t get enough of her.

Hey, where’s my peppermint mocha?

 

!!! Fall Edition

(Things that made me happy with week, Fall Edition)

Early trick-or-treating with cousins, and butterfly costumes.

Fall walks on a trail near our house,

That lend themselves to photos like these,

And treasures like these leaves and this milkweed pod, and the apples we bought at a local orchard. We used to make Christmas ornaments out of milkweed pods when I was in grade school. I felt almost giddy when I showed it to Monkey and taught her how to open it up to reveal the feathery seeds inside. It was a mixture of happy memories, excitement at watching my daughter learn about her world, and the realization that I had someone who would bring me a milkweed pod ornament. My parents still have those ornaments and hang them on the tree.

Homemade apple pie made with the apples from the orchard. I forgot to take a picture before we dug in. Oops! I actually made two pies — one for us, and one for my brother and his fiancé, which brings me to …

My brother has moved back to Milwaukee!! He and his fiancé are back in town and we hope they stay a long time. His fist pump = my feelings exactly. Love.

A loaf of my grandma’s homemade bread. Unbelievable when toasted with butter. You’ve died and gone to heaven when you use it for French toast. You can use her bread to barter for things in our family.

Living in the country, especially on a gorgeous fall morning. It just makes me look up at the sky and say, “Good morning, God.”

What made you !!! this week?