And Then There Was Happiness

My trepidation over adding to our family has given way to all-out glee, anticipation and excitement. With only nine days before my due date, I am so looking forward to our little family of four. Two little faces looking back at me from the car. Two baby monitors. Day trips to the zoo and museum in our new DOUBLE stroller. Family vacations. Even the initial introduction of Monkey to Bean. I can’t wait to see her reaction to the baby. I’m expecting her to be thrilled that she’ll have “a real live baby all of her own.” Obviously I’m expecting jealousy too, but I really think she’s going to be excited.

I’m not going to lie, though, back in November and December when we were in the throes of transitioning Monkey to her big-girl bed, I had some SERIOUS doubts about our ability to handle another child. One night I looked over at my husband and said, “What the hell were we thinking!?” I mean, the prospect of feeding two kids every mealtime, wrangling out two nap schedules, getting two kids dressed in the morning and ready for bed at night. EVERY DAY! This year at Thanksgiving a lot of my aunts were asking about how I was feeling and if I was excited. I think my reply was something like, “Um, feeling a little nervous. Maybe even a little insane to think having kids just over 21 months apart was a good idea.” And they all scoffed and said it would be great. And the more people I talked to, the more I heard about how their kids were 15 months apart or 19 months apart. Miraculously, they survived! Still, I wasn’t completely convinced. And it’s no coincidence that I asked for patience for Christmas.

But aside from Christmas Day, which was an absolute nightmare and totally our fault for not sticking with Monkey’s normal routine, things have calmed down. Bedtime is no longer a complete fiasco. In fact, there was even a two-week period where bedtime was total bliss! We would read the stories, I would sing the songs, we would turn out the light, and not a peep. She was sick though, and I knew it wouldn’t last forever, but I appreciated it just the same!! She still has some nights that are better than others, but for the most part, better. We introduced a sticker chart at the beginning of December and she totally gets it! She understands that if she throws all the socks out of her drawer, terrorizes her closet and tosses her stuffed animals over the gate she’s not getting a sticker. And I’m fine with her talking to herself and quietly playing for 40 minutes before she falls asleep. It continues to be a work in progress.

Her tantrums are at a minimum too, and we’ve reduced her propensity to hurl food, cups and silverware during mealtimes. I’m still not sure my grandma has recovered from Thanksgiving Day when Monkey whipped her milk cup behind her head so hard that it landed two tables away squarely in my grandma’s plate of food. Incidentally, we’re also utilizing the sticker chart for mealtime behavior. But honestly, she does what she’s asked 95% of the time, can verbalize almost anything she wants, and is playing independently for longer periods of time. I mean, the kid even likes helping us unload the dishwasher and putting her clothes in her hamper!

I think the fact that she’s finally getting enough sleep at night, and that her language is increasing dramatically every day, has helped cut down on the tantrums. She’s even putting together three-word sentences! “Sing. Cake. Song.” she asked me the other night, indicating she wanted me to sing the lullaby about having cake when you wake. Amazing! And the funniest thing is how hard she tries now to make us laugh. “Monkey. Funny.” she says all the time. And have I mentioned how absolutely cuddly she’s been lately?  I am LOVING it. She’s always asking for hugs.

Monkey has been an absolute joy; and while I know full well that her life will be completely disrupted by a new baby, likely resulting in undesirable behavior, I’m thanking God for the window he has given me. In fact, I think God has been listening to my desperate pleas and sent this sense of joyfulness just at the right time as an answer to my prayers. Instead of feeling like I’m going to vomit every time I think about parenting TWO KIDS, now I’m just flat-out excited. I know it’s going to be a struggle to give my attention to two kids, and get two kids in the car every morning, and manage two bedtimes, but those things will eventually become routine. And in the end, these early struggles are such a small price for the reward kids give us. Monkey has shown me that.

What was the hardest thing about adding another child to your family? Please don’t scare me too much! 😉

It’s Not All Bad – the Top 10 Things I Love About Being Pregnant

So some of my friends have told me that they’ll need to stop reading my blog if they ever have any hope of having kids. I’m sorry!! Therefore, if I scared you with last week’s blog about all of the travails of pregnancy, I should back up and tell you that there are good things about pregnancy. No, really. Chiefly, that you’re creating a new human being! I mean, how cool is that? It’s pretty much the most awesome thing you can do in your lifetime. I know it’s one of my greatest accomplishments. And your body does it, on its own, without much assistance needed from you. Well, after the initial stage I guess … you know what I mean.

ANYWAY, as I’ve blogged about before, you also know that maintaining a pregnancy hasn’t always been the easiest thing for me. Therefore, when I am pregnant, I try to be a really grateful pregnant person. Because to someone who can’t get pregnant, or who frequently experiences a loss, the last thing they want to hear about is some pregnant person complaining about being pregnant. And it’s a terrible thing when you want your body to work in a certain way and it doesn’t cooperate. Devastating, really.

Not to mention that my pregnancies have truly been pretty easy in a comparative sense. I’ve never been a puker, I don’t get high blood pressure or gestational diabetes, I don’t gain a lot of weight, and I have an extremely supportive husband who would do just about anything for me — or he could just be scared of me. Either way, I don’t have really anything to complain about when it comes to my pregnancies compared to my some of my friends’.

So I apologize if I came off as an ungrateful pregnant person. And I’m also not judging those people who don’t LOVE being pregnant, because being pregnant can still be really hard compared to not being pregnant. I just got a little sidetracked remembering what this certain man said to me and the ridiculousness of his statement. And, I thought it was a funny story to share with you.

Therefore, without further adieu, let me commence my list of top 10 things I LOVE about being pregnant.

10. That moment when you’re waiting for the results of the pregnancy test. And it comes back POSITIVE!! And you’re so exhilarated, because you realize that, at that exact moment, there is a life growing INSIDE YOUR BODY! And suddenly your whole world shifts as you think about all of your hopes and dreams for this person you don’t even know yet.

9. The first ultrasound. When you see the little bean on the screen and you realize that tiny flash is a beating heart. And you are in awe that there is a tiny, tiny being in your body that already has a beating heart.

8. The excitement everyone has for you. Babies = universal joy, so when people find out you’re expecting, whether it be your mom, sister or mailman, almost without exception, they respond with heartfelt good wishes for you.

7. When you finally get to the “this is definitely a baby bump and no I did not just eat too many doughnuts for breakfast” stage. There is definitely an awkward period where it’s hard for people to tell if you’ve just gained a little weight, or if you’re growing a human being.

6. The extra-special treatment you get from everyone, including family members and complete strangers. You get to eat first, sit first, sleep first, pretty much do everything before anyone else due to your “delicate” condition. Oh, you don’t think I should lift heavy objects or vacuum? I couldn’t agree more.

5. Which leads to the next thing — pregnancy is a built-in excuse for anything you don’t want to do. Who’s going to argue with a pregnant woman’s health?

4. When you start to feel the baby’s movement and you know for sure that it’s not just indigestion. Again, it’s another one of those moments where you just can’t believe what a remarkable thing it is that your body is doing — yes, there are a lot of those moments. Plus, the movements don’t get uncomfortable until the end.

3. Watching your body undergo the most unbelievable transformation. Granted, there are parts of the transformation that aren’t desirable, but you can’t argue that it’s not amazing. Try to ignore the undesirables and focus on the awe. Get a maternity portrait taken because believe me, you’ll take it for granted during your pregnancy and then when you look back you’ll marvel all over again.

2. Ice cream. Enough said.

1. Naturally, the number one thing I LOVE the most about being pregnant is the BABY. Congratulations, you have created a new life that is uniquely made up of you and your significant other. No other person on earth has ever been like this tiny creature you just created.

So friends, what is your favorite thing about being pregnant?

Really.

I once had a man, a late-50-something-year-old MAN, tell me that he thought the whole pregnancy mood swings and irritability thing was all just a convenient excuse for women to act crazy and irrational. In his opinion, it was “all in a woman’s head,” and the physical changes we underwent didn’t warrant the occasional outburst or unreasonable emotion. Instead, he thought pregnant women were “conditioned” to act crazy because people told us our hormones were raging. Mmmm hmmm. It’s no wonder pregnant women walk around ready to pop someone.

Let me borrow a line from the SNL Weekend Update team of Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers. Really. REALLY? Really, you think there’s nothing more going on than women wanting an excuse to act crazy.

Really, you think it’s no big deal that when you’re pregnant you’re either perpetually hungry, or perpetually too full, with rarely a time in between where you’re feeling just right? Really. And regardless of whether you feel hungry or too full, you also could be feeling like you’re ready to toss your cookies on a moment’s notice? Not to mention the gas and bloating? Really.

Really, I’m sure it’s not a problem that your pants don’t stay up, and since they don’t stay up, they’re always too long, which means you’re walking around tripping over them all the time, or dragging the bottoms through snow, water and salt during winter. I mean, that’s not annoying AT ALL. And that eventually you get to the point where even your maternity shirts aren’t long enough, and the bottom of your belly sticks out, and you’re subjected to wearing muumuus. Really.

Really, I’m sure you think it’s fine that at around 8 months of pregnancy you have what amounts to a small alien invasion happening in your body. I mean really. I’m sure you would do fine having ANOTHER HUMAN BEING — INSIDE.YOUR.BODY! DOING TAEBO WORKOUTS. “Kick. Kick. Roundhouse kick. Punch. Punch. Roundhouse kick. Squat. Squat. ONE MORE ROUNDHOUSE KICK.” Really, I’m sure you would be extremely comfortable.

Oh, and did I mention that while the ADDITIONAL HUMAN BEING IN YOUR BODY is doing Taebo workouts, they’re conveniently jumping on your bladder. So you literally feel like you have to go to the bathroom all.the.time.

Really, I bet it’s perfectly comfortable to try to maintain good posture while your body is so definitely NOT in balance. Really. The slouching, the backaches, the muscle and ligament pain is all just a figment of my imagination. Oh, you’ve never heard of round ligaments? Really? Oh, they’re the ligaments that help hold up a woman’s GIANT belly, and they’re in the groin area. That searing pain you can sometimes get, the kind of pain that takes your breath away and makes you never want to walk again, that’s really no big deal. Really. Because we all know how okay you are with pain IN YOUR GROIN. Really.

We can’t forget the sleepless nights, waddling walk, heartburn, indigestion, swelling, snuffy nose, bleeding gums, stretch marks, constipation, non-stop peeing in a cup, inability to tie shoes, oh, and the fact that THERE’S ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IN OUR BODIES. Really, these are just minor inconveniences that happen to continue for NINE MONTHS.

And you think this is AN EXCUSE!? REALLY!? I am basically walking around 50% irritated ALL THE TIME. And believe me. Women can find a lot less of a reason to act crazy.

Let me just ask you, what does YOUR body do that’s so special. Really.

P.S. To see one of Amy and Seth’s more stellar Really!?! clips, you have to watch this one about Gov. Blagojevich. It’s worth the wait throught the 30-second commercial.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/really-gov-blagojevich/881482/

Oh, So it’s Going to be One of Those Mornings

The kind where your kid wakes up kind of crabby and you’re not sure why. And then proceeds to get in your face about every.little.thing. And won’t leave you alone so you can get ready and instead starts wailing about everything.

The kind of morning where you’re underneath your bathroom sink. You know, underneath there, way in the back, where you never go, but you store lots of extra stuff, like hair care products and makeup that you never use. Including the extra big pads that you don’t use except in very specific situations, such as the “just getting home from the hospital after having a baby,” situation. And it’s a nearly full bag of pads. Because, as I mentioned, you only use them in very specific situations. Since I’m almost 9 months pregnant and anticipating the need for said pads in the very near future, I was glad to pull them out. Except I discovered that they were wet. Because they had absorbed water from an apparent leak from my bathroom sink. Again. Yes, this has happened before. The pads were huge. And did I mention wet? Nasty. Not to mention now I have to go buy a new package of extra big pads, of which I’ll use several and then toss under the sink for the next leak. Yeah, that kind of morning.

The kind of morning where after you clean up the water underneath your bathroom sink, which also involves entertaining a very curious, and don’t forget cranky, toddler, whilst cleaning up the water, you still have to get said cranky toddler changed, dressed, brushed and out the door. Just TRY to run away from me child. See how far you get. Oh, you don’t want to wear that vest? Okay, that’s fine. Then why are you SCREAMING when I take the vest off? Why are you saying, “Night. Night.” Do you want to go “Night. Night?” I’m so confused.

It’s one of those mornings where I am in deep deliberation about whether it will take me longer to get one ornery toddler’s coat, shoes and hat on, while 9 months pregnant with my pants falling off, having to pee, and child in utero making a concerted effort to push her foot out my stomach. OR, to get TWO children dressed, outside and buckled in car seats without being pregnant. Seriously, who can tell me? I really need to know. Because I literally have no idea how I’m going to manage to get out of the house before 10 a.m., and I’m hoping beyond hope, that it will be less cumbersome when I’m not pregnant, but with two kids. PLEASE?

Right, so after I get the toddler to Nana’s house and get back home, and am starving, it’s one of those mornings where I break the fried egg WIDE open after flipping it, and burn the toast. You know, because the toaster never toasts the bread enough on the first go around, so you pop it down again, only for the damn toaster to burn it. I’m still hungry.

(SIGH). Deep breath.

I’m hoping for a better afternoon.

Hey, the sun’s out!

Letter to Bean

Dear Bean,

I am so elated to come to this point in my pregnancy with you. With only about four weeks to go, I’m almost in disbelief at how fast this time has gone. It’s only when I think back to the very beginning and realize that I’ve been pregnant since MAY, does it seem like a long time. And I’m in no hurry to rush you out. Considering that in the beginning we weren’t even sure if I was going to make it through 13 weeks of pregnancy, and after that, that there was an increased possibility that you would be born prematurely, you have no idea how RELIEVED I am to make it this far. And I won’t even mind if it takes you 41 weeks. Thanks for hanging in there with us, Bean. And thanks to God for answering all of our prayers.

There are definitely some differences in my pregnancy with you compared to Monkey. For starters, I am carrying you so looow. Which is surprising, because usually women who are pregnant with boys are said to look like they swallowed a basketball. In the name of everything pink, I am sure hoping those ultrasounds were accurate! And I didn’t think it was possible for a baby to move in utero more than your sister did — but you do. Every day I look down at my belly expecting to see an arm or foot sticking out. You must seriously be running out of room in there. Which makes me wonder if you’re going to be a big baby. Monkey was such a lanky little peanut at only 7 pounds. Your activity level also makes me wonder how your personality will compare to Monkey’s. Will you be super active, highly emotional and outgoing like Monkey and me, or will you be more laid back like your dad. Either way is fine with us. But, I’m not going to lie; I’m hoping that you’re going to LOVE sleeping and that we won’t have to work as hard as we did with Monkey to get you to be a good sleeper.

One thing that’s not different is the hiccups. I can feel your frequent bouts of hiccups, just like I could with Monkey.

Your dad and I can’t wait to see what you look like. We were both shocked when Monkey was born and had strawberry blonde hair — we were expecting dark brown. So we’re so excited to see what color hair you’ll have, if you’ll also share your dad’s lovely blue eyes, and how much you’ll look like Monkey. It’s like the best, most miraculous science experiment. 😉

Monkey is going to be such a good big sister. She is going to love you up. We’ve been talking to her about you for months. She knows where your clothes are, she knows the bottles are for you, and she knows where you’re going to sleep in our room. She liked to use the Doppler when would listen to your heartbeat, and she kisses my belly all the time. She’s enthralled with real life babies and can’t stop touching them. At home she carries her baby dolls around, kissing them and asking me to wrap them in blankets. I think she’s going to be a great helper. You two are going to be best friends.

I imagine seeing you for the first time, marveling at your tiny hands and toes, and holding your tiny little body. In fact, that’s one of the things your dad said he’s looking forward to — those precious days and weeks right after you’re born when you snuggle in with us and fall asleep while we’re holding you.

I look ahead and I think about reading you stories, singing you songs, taking you on trips to the zoo. Your dad and I are looking forward to more family hugs, family dance parties and creating our own little family rituals and traditions. It’s going to be such an adventure with you and your sister.

Last night I saw a picture of Monkey from a year ago at Christmas. She was still a baby – and now she’s so not! Now she’s an independent, walking, running, talking, sentence-stringing GIRL. And then your dad broke my heart when he said that before I know it you girls will be in grade school and then off to college, and then he’ll be walking you down the aisle. I don’t want it to go that fast! You’re not even here yet!

Bean, we’re all ready for you and we can’t wait to meet you. We will love you and cherish each and every one of those milestones; but I’ll also relish the simple moments every day.