I’m So Glad We Get to Do This Again (and, an explanation)

Blogging has just not been a top priority for me lately — as much as I’ve wanted it to be. Usually I’ll have a story running through my head; a partial post bursting out of my brain; funny or introspective thoughts I’ll want to run by other parents. Normally I’ll be scrambling to get it written down and the words just pour out. But for the past four months I just haven’t had the head space. Not that I haven’t had the constant chatter in my head … because I have … it’s just seemed like an insurmountable task to actually get those thoughts down on paper.

This pregnancy has been much harder on me mentally and emotionally than my pregnancies with Monkey and Bean. I don’t know exactly what accounts for that … except that I know that every pregnancy is different. And I have a sneaking suspicion that it has a lot to do with already having two young kids to take care of. Add to that the overall growing pains of raising a young family, i.e. some terrible two’s, growing independence, and general “WTF am I doing as a parent anxiety,” plus work obligations and ding, ding, ding — you get some major emotional/mental exhaustion which leads to more crabbiness, short temperedness, anxiety. Don’t forget the extra credit — the hormones and physical tiredness and limitations that come with every pregnancy.

I honestly think that the physical limitations of pregnancy sneak up on you so slowly and gradually that it’s almost unnoticeable until one day you’re just SO frustrated that you can’t fit between the bathroom door and the sink to brush your uncooperative 4-year-old’s teeth and you just LOSE it and yell “WOULD YOU COOPERATE SO I CAN BRUSH YOUR TEETH!!?” And then you realize that you just totally overreacted, and yes your 4-year-old is being a pain, but you’re mostly just pissed because dammnit, you cannot MOVE normally.

And as far as the hormones go, all I’ll say is that in the moment your reactions seem rational. And for anyone who’s never been pregnant and thinks that the whole “hormones” thing is just some ploy to act like a crazy person, believe me, it’s not. Because honestly, no one wants to feel like a crazy person.

OH! And the extra, extra credit — being pregnant during the summer of 2012. Do you think that will be a thing that women who are pregnant this summer talk about? “YOU were pregnant during the summer of 2012?? OMG, ME too! That HEAT was just unbearable, and I just didn’t go outside for like three months, unless I could lay in a pool like a beached whale and not move and be jealous of everyone with their fruity drinks, and we kept the air set to 73 degrees, but I was *still* always hot, and it was just miserable, and …”

I think what drove all this home for me (why I’m experiencing this added mental/emotional exhaustion) was being away with my husband for our final “babymoon” this past weekend. We quite literally, did nothing. We ate, we walked, we sat, we walked, we sat, we ate, we slept.” Repeat. No one needed our attention. We didn’t have to follow anyone else’s agenda. We were only concerned about our own needs. There were no stressors or obligations. We watched all the other parents enjoying the three-day holiday weekend with their kids and we were a little sad that our kids weren’t with us, and envious of all the family fun. In the moment, I tried to remind myself how much harder it would be if the kids were with us, how the weekend would not be ours, and that I needed to just relax and enjoy the alone time. I told myself that those kids were probably being pains. But still, I was a tad sad and we were really excited to get home Sunday afternoon.

And then after I got home on Sunday afternoon I wasn’t so excited to be there. Because damn, they need A LOT of attention! And at times they can be pains! And I am TIRED! But seriously. This is what I realized — I did nothing while we were gone. I did nothing except eat, walk, sit and sleep, and I was still physically tired and limited (there was no light hiking as I hoped; baby being in VERY uncomfortable positions made slow walking and sitting the only things comfortable). So take me, already tired, physically limited and uncomfortable, and add caretaking and stressors of everyday life and work, and yeah. I’m kind of crabby! So I guess this weekend made me realize there’s probably nothing earth shattering about why this pregnancy has been more emotionally/mentally draining, except for normal things that have left me with little motivation to tackle extra things.

Hence, not much head space left over for blogging. I guess I feel like I’ve been surviving these past few months as opposed to thriving.

BUT, what I’ve also realized in the last few months, is that I’m so glad we get to do this again.

My brother-in-law is getting married this month to a wonderful girl and in June they asked me to look through my photos to see if I had any of the two of them together. So I started in 2010, the year they started dating and the year Bean was born, and boy. I really started to miss two-year-old Monkey and baby Bean. I may have shed a few tears.

It made me realize how glad I am that we get to have another baby. I can’t wait for the snuggling and the feedings and even the diaper changes. I can’t wait to see how this third person will enliven and enlarge our family. I can’t wait to see what she looks like, and slowly peel back the layers of her temperament and personality. I can’t wait to see Bean in the role of two-year-old big sister, like Monkey was for her. I can only imagine how Monkey will fill her role as biggest sister. She is such a nurturing soul, and already is instructing us about when, how and where she wants to hold and feed her baby sister.

Honestly, they’re both so excited. Have I mentioned that they both walk around with their loveys stuffed up their shirts and ask me if I want to feel their babies move?

This little girl is already such a blessing to our family and I really feel like she completes us. After being so indecisive about should we or shouldn’t we have a third, I feel so privileged that it was even an option.

With Monkey setting the pace for us, I’m just so happy that I get to experience all these stages again one more time.

Top 5 Ways You Know Your Baby Has Been Inhabited by a Rhesus Monkey

So have you heard that rhesus monkeys are body snatching infants? Yeah. For realz. I know because it happened to Bean. It was the weirdest thing. About three weeks ago she just started making these awful, horrible screeching and screaming noises. The exact same screeching and screaming sounds that rhesus monkeys make. Not familiar with this nerve-grating, nails on chalkboard screeching I’m referring to? Oh, well check out the second track on this Web site.

At first Husband and I weren’t quite sure what to make of it. I mean this is Bean — our normally laid back, easy going child — not to be confused with our other Monkey. We chalked it up to “teething” or “just being tired.” Until it started happening 10 minutes after she woke up from a good night’s sleep or a nice nap. And continued all throughout the day. ALL. DAY. LONG. Not even the administration of drugs could keep the screeching at bay. And she’s as healthy as a horse, what with just having had her six-month well check and weighing in at a whopping 21 pounds 13.4 ounces.

It seems pretty much every time we aren’t holding her, Bean begins her screeching. Setting her on the floor with toys — cue screeching. Putting her in her high chair — prompt screeching. Laying her back to change her — commence screeching. Even the sensation of being lowered to the ground — you guessed it — screeching.

And then it dawned on us. Ooooh, yes. The rhesus monkey baby body snatchers. After exhausting all other possibilities for Bean’s newfound penchant for ear drum piercing, the only obvious conclusion was that her body has been inhabited by a rhesus monkey. DUH!

We found the following checklist that you may find helpful in determining if your own baby has been snatched. Check all those that apply.

1. Rhesus monkeys are characterized as a vociferous monkey. They are active and noisy.
2. Rhesus monkeys have close-cropped hair which accentuates their very expressive faces.
3. The monkey has specialized pouch-like cheeks.
4. These intelligent animals can adapt to many habitats, and some even become accustomed to living in human communities.
5. These monkeys spend a lot of time on the ground.

If you have only one check, you’re baby’s probably fine. If you have three or more check marks, the possibility is strong that your baby has been monkey snatched. We had five checks.

Damn imposters.

P.S. Today is my first blogiversary! One year ago today I started this crazy ride of a mom blog with my first-ever post. I’ll catch up with you next week about what life looks like on the other side.

Shrieky monkeys!